When you feel stuck in your career: 5 things to consider immediately
This is an all too common problem today ... feeling stuck in our careers. This feeling drove the Great Resignation a few years ago. Some would argue we are still seeing this phenomenon, but given economic indicators, I think we are in a mixed bag. Some people are still considering their options or they are simply disengaging when they aren't "feeling it", while others are on an exploration journey.
So much has been written about finding your purpose and "calling" in life. I know many people who feel like they have found their calling and are doing that. Great! But, I think this puts A LOT of pressure on the career part of our lives because, after all, our careers are just one part of our whole selves.
This is not to knock all the purpose, calling, and self-fulfillment books out there. I have read many; they line my bookshelves today with stickie notes, highlights, and underlined passages. But I do think we may be setting ourselves up for some disappointment if we insist that career is at the center of us -- at the center of our purpose and reason we are on this planet.
I don't know about you, but I wear many hats in my life and I suspect you do too. I am a wife, stepmother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, colleague, manager, consultant, speaker, writer, volunteer, gardener, baker, nature-lover, hiker, crossword-puzzle solver, theater-goer, live music aficionado, and on and on. All of us have many roles we play in our lives that fill up our cups. A career is one of them and even perhaps a big chunk, but not the only one.
If we put all of our happiness (harkening back to the last blog series) and fulfillment eggs in the career basket, we put a lot of pressure on that facet to deliver for us. I have done this too many times in my life, and it has only led to me over-criticizing my job and the organization I was working for and robbed me of enjoying the other areas of my life that bring me joy, peace, and fulfillment.
Even when we have a good sense of balance between our career and the rest of the eggs in our life basket, we can still feel stuck for many reasons. We could feel trapped in a role with zero chance of promotion, we could feel stifled from learning new things, we could feel shunned from stretch assignments, we may feel that we chose the wrong career or position, we may feel the role or organization does not align with our values, or we could dislike our manager (hopefully, not all of the above!).
Here are 5 take-stock questions you can think about (and write down answers to) to help you determine if you are stuck, and, if so, what to do about it.
Am I putting too many eggs in the career basket?
As I said before, our careers are an important part of our lives but they are not the only part, and may not even be the center of the parts. I put my career at the center of everything for a long time and found that I was constantly disappointed because it didn't fill up my entire cup. I kept wanting more or something different than what I had, which led to a lot of frustration and stress. I love what I do, and I love helping people connect and grow. But I prioritize other parts of my life too to ensure I am in balance with my value and what I want out of life. I recommend taking some time to think about what matters to you in all facets: family, relationships, faith, community, recreation, spirituality, work, growth, etc.
Am I putting too much pressure on the impact of my work?
Related to the above are our expectations for the work we do and the impact we have. Do you think your impact should be huge? Maybe that's not realistic. Do you think if you're not solving world hunger or addressing major climate change, you aren't doing something meaningful? I have known too many people who feel this way. Of course, these are lofty and important goals, but perhaps we should try and make an impact on these through other means like volunteering, advocacy, or donating money. I have had many career conversations where people have told me they aren't making an impact. All they do is ensure the accounts balance every month or are simply an ear to listen to customer complaints. They just organize meetings and take notes. and they don't feel like they are doing anything worthwhile. These could all be true but try and look at the impact you are making. Are you solving a problem? Are you keeping your company in good practice? Are you keeping the project team on track? Are you helping a frustrated customer? Are you making a difference in the circle you are in? If yes, then you are on the right track. Our impact does not have to be huge; you may make more of one than you think.
Am I aligning with my values?
I have written about this many times in many different contexts, but understanding our values and what matters to us will never lead us on the wrong path, but ignoring them will. I can't tell you how many times I ignored the little quiver in my stomach when something just didn't feel right but I did it anyway only for it to turn out badly. Or, others I have coached start making compromises on something just to get a pay raise or a bigger job only to find out they are miserable even though they have a higher-level title. We all don't need to be CEO; we all don't have to be the top leader. If you know what you excel at and enjoy doing at the same time, this will help. If you know you value security over moving fast and being cutting-edge, that is very informative for your career choice.
Can I do a root cause analysis?
If you feel aligned and balanced but still feel stuck, try putting on your detective hat and figure out why. Do you want to be promoted and given a chance to lead but you feel blocked? Do you want to move into Marketing from Sales but don't know how to even approach it? Do you want to exit corporate America and work for a non-profit but can't see the path? Understanding why you feel stuck is key to knowing how to move forward. Sometimes this should result in you leaving an organization, talking to your manager, or finding someone in the field you want to move into and learning what gaps you have and how to fill them. Remember this is YOUR career and no one will manage it for you. You need to take initiative and drive toward what you want.
Who can I talk to for perspective?
Finally, the worst thing we can do is stay in our heads on this one. Write down the answers to the questions above and the ones I outlined in my career development blog from 2021. Author and co-creator of the Chicken Soup for Soul books, Mark Victor Hansen, said: "Don't just think it; ink it." Seeing words on a page will help create clarity. Talking to others also helps get you out of your head. Certainly, you can seek a career coach or life coach, but there are plenty of people out there who would love to help you out -- a former manager, a colleague, a mentor, your current manager, someone you admire in another company, or industry, speakers, authors. You'd be surprised if you reach out to an author or speaker about how generous people will be with your time.
We all feel stuck from time to time. It is easy to get in a rut or not know where we should be going next. I encourage all of us to reflect on what matters, make sure we aren't putting too much pressure on our careers to deliver happiness and fulfillment and get some perspective through inking our thoughts and reaching out to others.
It is okay to make a change too! Let's just make career changes intentionally grounded in what matters to us and how we can add value.