When you lose your mojo: 7 things not to do
I didn’t think I would be talking about motivation so early in 2021 but after celebrating the one-year anniversary of not being in an office, not gathering with family, not taking that awesome trip abroad, I have noticed people are losing their motivation, or mojo, at this time.
We talked about burn out in an earlier post and you may think that losing motivation and burning out are the same thing. Not necessarily. Losing mojo and burn out are not exactly the same although there can be a relationship between them. Losing motivation can lead to burn out and burn out can definitely cause a loss motivation.
It happens to the best of us. It is very difficult to wake up everyday and feel amazingly work-ready, purpose-driven and eager to conquer any challenge. There are days I feel that way and days where I just want to turn off my alarm and pull the covers over my head. These days I like to pretend it is Saturday where my only morning meeting is at the request of my yellow lab, Max, to feed him, let him outside and be licked for a few minutes.
When these days of not wanting to get out of bed become more frequent, then we need examine what is going on. We may feel this way on a single day. When this happens, we need to have grace with ourselves and cut ourselves some slack. Everyone has a day where this happens. No big deal; nothing to fret over. But, when on most days, we dread getting up, getting ready and facing our workplace or laptop screen, we need to take stock.
Your mojo is directly tied to your purpose and what matters most to you. If you’re not tapping into that, your mojo can be affected. However, on some days, even our purpose may not be enough to pull us through. Our moods, interactions with others, lack of interaction can all influence our mojo.
Marshall Goldsmith has many awesome books, and I highly recommend reading any or all of them. One that doesn’t get as much attention is: Mojo: How to get it, how to keep it, how to get it back if you lose it. Goldsmith lays out simple and effective strategies for finding and keeping your mojo. I have my own thoughts on mojo; some align to his and some from my own experience.
I lost my mojo severely about 8 years ago when my personal life was in chaos. Since we bring our whole selves to work, I found it difficult to balance challenging times personally with work that was not aligning to my values and interests. My mojo was gone for a long time. It wasn’t until I looked inward and made some severe changes did I intentionally think about what drives me and my mojo. Goldsmith’s book was part of that self-discovery at the time.
Whether you have something majorly going awry in your life or you simply aren’t “feeling it” anymore, it may be time to pay attention to your mojo. Here are seven tips for what not to do. I have done them all, and, trust me, none of them help. So, let’s flip the “don’t” to do’s”.
Don’t ignore your goals.
We talked about goals back in January and I find deliberately setting goals, no matter how big or small, help drive us to get to where we want to go. We, oftentimes, write down goals only for them to gather dust and cobwebs in our planners, journals and performance management systems. Get re-centered and go back to your vision board. Revisit your goals and see where you have succeeded and where you may be stuck. Build an action pan to become unstuck. You recorded these goals for a reason. Remember that reason to find your mojo.
Don’t ignore your values.
In addition to goals, don’t forget your values. When something doesn’t feel right, trust your instinct and examine if a situation or relationship fits your values — what matters most to you. If a boss constantly rides you or a project goes in a weird direction, stop and figure out what isn’t aligning for you. You may not be able to change the situation at work but you can change your attitude, you may be able to take on other projects that align better, or, if need be, you need to change your job. I have done that in my career when my values did not line up with the organization I was with. This happens. It will be difficult to find your mojo working for a terrible boss or a cut-throat organization, if that does not fit you.
Don’t put up shields.
When you lose our motivation, it is easy to shut down and put up shields. No one knows how we feel, no one can help. Quite the opposite. The best thing to do when you’ve lost your motivation is to engage with others. There are times I only want to meet with Max, my dog, but connecting with others can give me a lift, help me see something from a different point of view. Some people just exude energy. Ever notice that? Yeah...they are amazing. Sometimes, you can feed off of their energy. Ask for feedback and get some advice. Hearing others’ stories can help you. Learning how someone else got unstuck is a very powerful and personal way to find your mojo.
Don’t wait for something to change.
This is a biggie. When we have lost our motivation, we may think something will come along to change that. Not to be a downer but I doubt it. That may happen but the best way to get our motivation back is to review what we want, who we are and what is missing and proactively take steps to make it happen. Reaching out to people can help you with this as I stated above. But, to think that something will happen to us without taking any action ourselves is a recipe for disappointment.
Don’t overcommit.
Another biggie. I am famous for this. When I find I am in a slump and my mojo is far away sipping piña coladas while I suffer, I then overcommit and take on ten new projects and volunteer activities. This can have opposite effect, however. Taking too much action, getting involved in everything all at once can create more opportunities for you not to succeed. We simply cannot juggle too much at once. We will eventually burn out. The key is to find actions you can take that align to your goals and values to bring you the most joy. If you have ten things that will do this, that is amazing. But, pick three and do those really, really well.
Don’t mope.
Akin to putting up shields is to turn inward and go through the motions or mope. I can always tell when someone may be in this phase when they show up to meetings but don’t participate or they do just the bare minimum or, sometimes, they miss a deadline. When this is uncharacteristic for someone, as a manager, investigate. As a friend or colleague, it is okay to ask if everything is going okay. As the moper, try not to fall into this rut. It can be difficult to pull yourself out of a fog like this. The more you mope, the more you get stuck. Again, everyone has a bad day. But, a string of bad days can start to get overwhelming. Don’t let yourself go there for too long.
Don’t stop learning and growing.
Finally, a great way to get your mojo back is to learn something new. It can be work related or not. Many great businesspeople find inspiration in a cooking class, an art project or through Yoga. Find something you want to learn and do it. It can be small but the act of learning can spur us into a new frame of mind and this can help us get our mojo back. The act of learning keep us from getting stuck by its nature.
If you lose your mojo, there is no reason to panic. You can start small by reviewing you goals or having a virtual coffee with someone you respect. Staying open, connected and aligned will help you re-discover your mojo over and over again. We can lose it or forget it from time to time. That is nothing to worry about; there are many ways to find it again!