When you need to channel stress: 5 actions to practice

What is very real right now to many of us? Stress. I hope you are on your patio with your coffee overlooking a lake, trees, or just watching the birds. For those of you not doing that but thinking about your work week ahead, worrying about the future economy, or ruminating on a decision you made last week, you’re not alone.

I just listened to a Hidden Brain podcast episode about mindset and our approach to stress. They discussed how much mind over matter really works — that you bring about what you think about. Your mind can overcome your body. However, they cautioned listeners that we stress about what we care about. So, do you stop thinking and prioritizing what you care about if you eliminate stress? The question then became: can stress actually enhance our performance? The simple answer was “yes.” 

Stress shows up everywhere in our lives. It certainly shows up in our work lives, and it can be a daily occurrence if you are a middle manager. I agree with the expert on Hidden Brain that all stress is not bad. The butterflies before a big presentation, the adrenaline you get before a big sales pitch, or the rush or nausea you may experience after hitting publish on a big report or book can be a good thing. It shows that we care. 

We care about our work, our quality, the influence we may have, the impact, and the outcome. Butterflies are good, but those stress worms that infest our heads and invade our sleep are not good. So, how do we welcome and embrace the butterflies and stave off the worms? 

This is not easy. What I see most today is that we are all trying to figure out the right way, the best way to do just about anything. We analyze, question, worry, fret, and even fear what can be around the next corner that we cannot predict.

We create stress with the constant questioning about what we are doing, how we are doing it, how it will be perceived, what impact it will have, will it have any impact, how people will feel about decisions, and how will external factors influence our decisions. These questions can become tortuous, allowing those stress worms to fester.

Last week, I signed up for a holistic wellness class to strengthen my connection between body and brain. I am not sure what I believe, but I know that I am all in my head, which may not be the best way to manage stress despite getting my mind in the right frame. I will be journaling about my experience and exploring the areas of stress and living with anxiety in my next book, which will be available in 2023. You will read some of those themes in my blog in the future.

One area of good stress for me is public speaking. No matter how much public speaking I do, I can get a little stressed and nervous. This is inevitable for most of us. Some get so petrified that they get dry mouth, breathe fast, have a shaky voice, get red-faced, or cannot get on stage. Public speaking is one of those activities you love or loathe. Even the most prolific speakers can get the butterflies.

So, back to the proposition on the Hidden Brain, when is stress a good thing? How do we cultivate and leverage the butterflies and channel stress to be a motivator? Here are the five actions I recommend to channel your stress into a positive outcome.

1. Allow the butterflies.

Butterflies are good. Just think about watching a Monarch butterfly float around wildflowers. It is soothing, not stressful. If you feel your stomach getting a little flip-floppy, just let it happen. As long as you aren’t actually nauseous, a little floppy is okay. You can handle it if your palms are a little sweaty and your feet are a little tingly. This means you’re excited. Just allow the natural sensations to happen. When you start to worry about this physical reaction or get upset that you feel this way, that thinking will only lead to stress. These stress worms can manifest into bad physical reactions like getting sick, fainting or being distracted by negative emotions. In this case, don’t allow your head to get into the game. Go with your gut.

2. Flip your mindset.

I have plenty of examples where I believe my mind overcame matter, so to speak; I just willed something to happen, and through brute force, it did. But, we want our minds and bodies to work together, not separately. Only when we are in harmony, do we achieve success. When they are out of sync, we can get sick, crash or our minds start to work overtime to compensate, and we have insomnia. Lean into the butterflies and couple that with thinking of “I will do well” or “This will yield great results.” Butterflies out of control can create chaos. Butterflies under the mindset of a good outcome will breed success.

3. Breathe.

Our breath is one of the easiest, quickest, and most in-our-control techniques to channel stress into positive action. I never believed in this. I tried meditation and could not still my mind for more than 5 minutes. I tried just sitting still (something I was never good at and still am not). However, we can control our bodies and minds through breath work when stressed, whether because of excitement or dread. You don’t need to be good at mediation; you need to know how to breathe intentionally. Inhale through your nose for 6 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds and exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds. This technique can settle the most nail-biting, stressed-out individuals. This is the center of where the mind and body can come together to calm us and use the butterflies for good.

4. Visualize.

That age-old saying of picture everyone in their underwear when speaking to a crowd is a bit of malarky. However, the concept wasn’t far off. Instead of picturing something silly like that, picture yourself doing well. Picture what it will be like once the stressful event is complete. Visualization can be compelling and a way for our minds to influence our bodies. You may dread an interview, but what will it feel like when you get the job? You may be excited and nervous about delivering an executive-level presentation, but how will it feel when you nail it? We get worried because we only focus on the action we are anxious about. Focus on the end game instead.

5. Smile.

You may be making a face at this one, or maybe not. For some reason, I have not been a smiler in my life. I look for problems to fix, mountains to conquer, and to-dos to scratch off my list. I face them with butterflies, fear, and determination all rolled together. This usually means that I am not smiling much. I have a more serious game face. I was asked to smile every 5 minutes during my first wellness class. I felt foolish at first. I even rolled my eyes the first time I asked. But, you know what? Smiling is another physical action we can take to adjust our minds. Try it. When you are stressed, try smiling. Even if you feel silly, go with it. Trust me. It is far easier to be positive when you are smiling.

Some of what I am sharing is rudimentary. Many of you may already know these things. What I am finding more and more is that we need to get back to the basics — thinking about our minds, our bodies, our relationships with people and work, how we communicate, send and receive information, and how we balance thinking and feeling. We need to be more centered with ourselves to make a positive impact and pay it forward to the next person. 

I never realized how much is in our control and that the mind-body connection is quite strong in every facet of our lives. Be mindful of these actions in our control. Practicing some of this will help embrace the butterflies and keep those stress worms where they belong…way underground.