When you want to be more present: 7 daily actions to better mindfulness
Welcome, 2022! It is very welcome from my perspective. I love the transition between the old year and the new year. Everyone has a blank sheet of paper just waiting to be written on. My to-do lists have some items on them but are still full of blank spaces ready to be filled with dreams, goals, aspirations, ideas, and actions. The year is open to be shaped by you (and by me).
I keep reading articles and blogs about what resilience will look like in 2022. We have talked a lot about being resilient over the last two years. Resilience needs to be baked into our DNA at this point as, and I hate to say this, there will be something else. Something else will always come along to change our lives — something else may be amazing, a downer, or even somewhat neutral. But, there will always be something else.
We need to make this assumption and figure out how to prepare, accept and move forward. Something else may cause stress and anxiety or give us hope. Something else may drive us forward or hold us back. Something else may provide us with a much-needed perspective and guide us to learn lessons that make us stronger.
Resilience needs a new name these days. What we all need is strength. What I have learned about myself and others at the end of 2021 moving into a new year is this:
We are all exhausted
We are all "over it"
We all needed a break (and hopefully everyone got one, even if a long weekend)
We are still uncertain when we hoped we would have more clarity
Yet…We are all still excited about what 2022 brings
We can’t help but feel a little excitement, hope, and optimism. We have been through the ringer and we know there are good things to come. We can't have a doomsday attitude because it can be challenging to pull yourself out once you go down to that basement mentality.
I have felt all of these emotions and then some over my holiday break. I have had amazing experiences with friends, juggled brushes with COVID, dealt with disappointment over canceled experiences due to COVID, and spent time gearing up to take on a new role with a new organization. I have found myself mixed with anxiety, disappointment, happiness, and excitement, all wrapped into one.
Experiencing these emotions has made me stronger and has helped me focus on what I want out of 2022. When I plan for the year to come, I choose 4-8 goals that support my vision and legacy I want to leave behind. I also pick a word of the year. My word for 2022 is…..Presence.
Being present will give us strength. Being present will help us see all the things we have to be grateful for. Being present will help us stay in the realm of excitement and leave "exhausted" and "disappointed" at the door.
I deliberately picked this word because I struggle with it. Anyone who grapples with anxiety knows worrywarts focus on the future and can get overwhelmed with "what if" scenarios. What if COVID has another surge. What if I can't travel to see my parents. What if I can't figure something out. What if I can't sustain my weight loss. What if…what if…what if…
I am futuristic in that I love to think about opportunities and possibilities; the flip side can be having some anxiety over what that future might look like. So, my commitment is to be more present — living and enjoying the day at hand. Focusing day by day is how we will be more resilient and find our strength.
I invite everyone to read books and blogs about mindfulness and being more present. Gurus, monks, and other meditation leaders are far wiser than me to dole out advice. However, many of you know that I am practical. I believe in giving achievable, bite-sized advice. It is challenging to provide tactical advice on how to embrace a mindset of being present….but here it goes! By the way, this is the real action guide I wrote down for myself to achieve my #1 goal of Being More Present.
Keep a gratitude journal.
What I have learned over break is that gratitude fuels strength, and strength comes from gratitude. Not just thinking but recording what we are thankful for every day helps us stay in “today”. All of you know that I value time to think, and I appreciate recording thoughts even more. Nothing provides more perspective than reading what you record about yourself six months later. I read my 2021 goals and legacy statement I wrote in December 2020. I have come a long way. It helped me see all the things in 2021 I had to be grateful for. I downloaded a gratitude journal app on my phone, and I will record my gratitude every morning at 7 am as I begin my workday. I encourage you to do the same. It is easy. It takes 5 minutes each morning, and it will change your outlook.
Find a mantra or trigger.
I mentioned I chose a word of the year. This word is now posted on a pretty card on my corkboard in my home office. A word can be helpful to focus your thoughts, and so can a mantra or phrase you can recite, read or keep top of mind. For me, my word is enough. But, I also need to understand what triggers me to become "unpresent" and spin into my what-if scenarios that can derail my focus and energy. This is where reflection helps to understand those people, situations, and circumstances that may trigger us in a different direction. Write these triggers down. Recognition is the first step. Then, rely on your word or mantra to re-focus your brain.
Figure out your meditation.
Another very tactical action to stay present is meditation. I struggle with this one too. Like gratitude, there is no shortage of meditation apps you can download, like Calm, Headspace, or Insight Timer. The key here is to schedule on your calendar when you will meditate. It does not have to take hours. Sometimes 15 minutes is enough. Sometimes a nice, quiet walk can help you achieve the goal of meditation — clearing out the clutter that dominates your brain and prevents you from being productive, happy, and well-rested. For me, I have tried meditation in the morning, lunch-time, and evening. I will admit that I am still looking for the right moment in my day, but I will keep looking. I have also taken group classes to help me understand the mechanics more. Sometimes jumping into an app without any instruction can be daunting. Seek out a local in-person or virtual class. My local library offers meditation every Friday at 10 am. There are free options out there if you look for them.
Embrace your to-do list.
For some, to-do lists may create stress. Hopefully not! Lists help you know what to focus on, and we should be focused on what matters most. Thinking about what you can solve or achieve this week or this day will naturally focus you on the present. This is not to say you can't plan for the future, and many goals we have don't take a day to achieve but can take months or years. So, break down those lofty goals into bite-sized chunks so you can focus and see results along the way. Having success and seeing progress will help you stay in the present.
Listen.
Listening to others can help us get centered. When we stay quiet and let others express themselves, we can be more focused and outside of our heads. Part of what can derail us in our quest for being present is to drown in thoughts and noise that bombard us every day. Make time to ask thoughtful questions and listen, truly listen to what others have to say. You will at least learn another perspective or perhaps learn something new.
Share.
There are times when speaking up can help us stay in the present. Sharing feelings, lessons, and stories can focus on our day and help others in their journeys. Being present is a bit of an individual quest, but we can help others by sharing our tactics, struggles, and goals. Pick a good time to share and build a community with a common goal of being present.
Breathe.
Finally, not to be underestimated is to breathe. This is something else I grapple with. I have an Apple Watch that gives me mindfulness prompts. The problem is, it is too easy to ignore them. One of my goals in 2022 is to schedule these prompts, pay attention to them, and abide by them when at all possible. Breathing for a minute deeply twice a day is not that much to ask. Taking a minute to breathe can give clarity, help us relax, get us to focus, and be able to note those triggers while they happen.
These are the seven steps I am following in 2022. You may have others. You may not even think about this topic. We all need to be strong; we need to help others to be strong in these times as well. For me, the link between being present and combatting anxiety, staying focused, and being strong is apparent. I spent time planning and reflecting to help me see how important this is to our mental health.
If you have tips on being present, share them with others. Let's all become our strongest selves this year!