When you want to recognize someone: 4 styles to consider (Updated for 2022)
Another post from the 2020 vault seems particularly important today. Recognition has always been a tricky subject for some managers, but today, ensuring people feel valued, trusted, and appreciated matters in their decision to stay with your organization or go.
As managers, we may have been trained to deliver constructive feedback to improve someone’s performance. We sometimes miss the opportunity to focus on praise — a key concept in a great book called Radical Candor.
We may think that giving recognition can keep people engaged and motivated to strive for more. This is most often true, but it depends on how you do it.
For me personally, recognition is important. I don’t need to be told “thank you” every day or have my name uttered in a leadership meeting frequently. Some people do. Some people don’t. Some people shrink from public recognition. Some people crave it. It is essential to know your people and learn what they want and need to be successful as a manager.
I am a fan of personality tests. I have taken them all. I know what color I am, what letter or letters describe me, what style I gravitate toward, what my strengths are (and are not), and how I like to be recognized. If you know your personality type, you may also know what matters to you and motivates you.
Whatever personality instrument is available to you in your organization, please take it. Have your team take it. The point is not to put people in boxes, although our society sometimes likes to do that, but to understand why someone reacts a certain way, handles stress, and wants to be appreciated.
I once had a team member who would rather not be publicly recognized. It embarrassed her. I never asked her if it was okay, and when her name was announced from the stage at a large event, she turned beat red and looked horrified. I felt terrible. I thought I was doing a nice thing. But for her, she was not wired to accept such accolades. She felt hearing she did a nice job from me or the department head was enough.
I had another team member who would get angry when his name didn’t appear in the all-hands meeting PowerPoint presentation. We moved so quickly that we left his name off the team recognition slide. Ugh. That was a terrible mistake and one I vowed never to make again. He didn’t care about money or autonomy too much but not saying his name aloud was a problem.
Recognition is not one of the things where everyone should get the same treatment, but rather, get the treatment they prefer. It is more meaningful then. What is the best way to determine this? The huge secret….just ask. Ask your team members what motivates them, how they want to work with you, and how they want to be recognized.
Whenever I have had this conversation, the team member appreciates being asked and considered as an individual. That makes them feel special, listened to, and trusted. We don’t often have this conversation today, but we should especially now when people are still shuffling jobs. Knowing what lights someone up and how they want to be treated will give you the inside scoop on retaining them.
I have found at least four styles of recognition. There could be more, but these four have seemed to cover most people I have managed:
Put my name in lights.
Some people might roll their eyes at this, but many people crave this. And, this is okay. These people are usually extroverts and get their energy from others. So, it makes perfect sense that they want this level of celebrity. They need public recognition for a job well done. As this person’s manager, you should find or create these opportunities to keep them engaged. Of course, the person needs to have done something to deserve this level of recognition, but when that happens, make a note and be sure to share it at the next team or department meeting.
Get out of my way.
Some people don’t need all of the accolades; they simply want more responsibility and more leadership roles. Sometimes this means higher-level projects, more visible projects or a broader level of scope. Others not only want more responsibility, but they also want the autonomy to do it. The best way to recognize this person is to get out of their way and let them do their thing. This communicates trust in this person, and that is the reward.
Show me respect.
Somewhat aligned with the above, some people want to be known as the expert. They want everyone’s respect because they are dependable and can get the job done. They want to be the go-to person. Being set up and communicated as the expert is what some people crave as recognition. They may not need to be on the marquee, but they want to be known for their contributions to the organization and derive their value from being included and asked in their area of expertise.
Say thank you.
Some who don’t want their name shouted from the rooftops want some appreciation in the form of a thank you. “You are so helpful. You are so valued. We can’t do this without you.” They need validation (most of us do on some level!). Saying thanks, sending an ecard, or even sending flowers or a gift card goes a long way with people who just need a little boost. They just need to hear it from someone they know and trust.
These are not necessarily mutually exclusive either. Some may want their name in lights and more leadership responsibilities. Some may want to hear thank you and be given respect. And, some may want monetary awards. This could be true of just about anyone. Just know that money is not at the center of everyone. Some people value autonomy, appreciation, or flexibility more than money. Be sure to determine what matters most.
The key is to get to know your people, and the simplest way to do this is to ask them. Watch out for shy team members who may tell you they don’t need anything. If that is what you hear, I tend to go for style #4 as a start.
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