When your team tells you they are overwhelmed: 6 ways to help
While we continue to strike a balance being between productive and operating within healthy boundaries, there are ups and downs in how much is expected of us. Everyone I speak to seems to be juggling a lot…still. I thought maybe this was an adjustment we needed to make last year when our world was turned upside down. However, it seems this may not be just swinging the pendulum.
A pendulum swings far one way, far back the other way and settles in the middle. If the pendulum swings far left and stays there, you are fighting gravity, physics, and the nature of things. You cannot stay in the extremes; something (or someone) will inevitably crash. As managers, we need to try hard to not let that happen.
I am in the middle of writing my book about navigating work life as a middle manager (due out by end of the year!), and I am writing a ton about managing self, team and up. A theme that keeps popping up is time. Spending time, maximizing time, managing expectations about time, making time for yourself. This abstract and ultra-important concept of time tends to dominate our lives.
I find that people think about and manage time differently. As you may know by reading my blog, I tend to manage my time closely to ensure I can do all the things I want to do. Others approach time in a more laid-back fashion and take the time to get things just right in their minds. I tend to go more for good enough than perfect as I think “perfect” is a myth — a subjective myth that can drive you crazy.
One of the most difficult things I had to learn as a manager is everyone is different. I know this sounds ridiculous, but when I was a younger manager, I couldn’t understand why people didn’t see things as clearly as me. Or, why they took 12 hours to do something when I could do it in five. Or, why they didn’t get a concept quickly. Diversity in thinking, processing and speed should also be accepted in the workplace. Not everyone can manage a lot at once.
Now, if a role needs to operate at a certain level, and someone cannot reach that level, then that should result in a conversation and maybe even a change. People and roles need to fit together. It is not fair to expect someone to do a job they are unable to do. However, there could be times, especially now, where people are capable but not able to right now.
What happens when your team member comes to you and says they have too much or can’t manage what they have? How do you react? What can you do? Here are six ways you can help your team member through an overwhelming time.
Let them share.
It is tough to know how much you should listen to a team member vent. Sometimes, people need to get something off their chest, but, at some point, it becomes unproductive and just a one-way ticket to negative city. In this case, if a team member has the courage to come forward and tell you they have too much work or just can’t take on anything else, let them share their thoughts and feelings. We may also be uncomfortable to listen to feelings. There was a day in my career where you just didn’t do that. Now, I think we have developed more tolerance and empathy to hear why someone might be struggling and to help them take action to quell these feelings.
Check your judgment.
Admittedly, this can be difficult for me. I was raised in the corporate world that hard work equals success and hard work means putting in extra hours sometimes. I never dreamed of saying that I couldn’t do something, but maybe someone truly can’t. This should not be viewed as a weakness. If someone is juggling a lot at home or they just don’t have the mental capacity after a 12-day stretch, that is okay. We need to recognize not everyone has the same tolerance for endless hours and many projects at once. Some people need breaks and reasonable schedules to work into their life demands.
Respect differences.
After checking your judgment, keep in mind we are not all wired the same. Don’t apply your principles or behaviors to others. We do this all the time! I just did this the other day…seriously. Stop the “why can’t everyone view this like me” syndrome, pause and realize that people have different backgrounds, rearing, education, values, and strengths. Just because you are superwoman and can juggle a thousand things doesn’t mean everyone on your team can. Learn what they can do and play to those strengths.
Ease the burden.
If someone does come to you, help them. Don’t respond by saying “tough”. I once mustered up the courage to tell my boss that I couldn’t take on any more projects. Her response to me was: “Well, if you want to be promoted here, you’re going to have to burn the midnight oil.” Okay. That was helpful because I found another job at another company. Now, she had no one to do the work. My hope is this philosophy is waning. Working 70+ hours a week should not equate to a promotion. Skills, leadership, innovation, capability, attitude should result in promotions. If someone is overwhelmed, then, take something off the plate. Don’t push your team member out the door, but work with them to see what they can do and work toward those strengths.
Help them prioritize.
Prioritization is a lost art I have decided. Much like the manager in the above scenario, I also asked what was most important. The response? Everything is important. That is impossible. Ten things cannot be equally important if you actually look at criteria that determines importance. For me, projects need to align to our strategic objectives laid out at the beginning of the year. If too many things come at us, I measure them against the objectives. If they fit, then we need to figure it out. If they don’t, and we are strapped, then they get paused. For a specific person, determine what is most important and focus only on that for a bit. Maybe juggling five projects isn’t necessary. Determine what of their workload could be put on the back burner. If something is a nice-to-do, de-prioritize it. If it is a must-do to save money or time, impact client relationships, or drive revenue, keep those things on the list.
Help them explore.
There could be a situation where the role is not a good fit. I don’t think you go here first but if easing some things and prioritizing others still leads to frustration or stress, then a more targeted conversation is needed. Maybe the role is not right for them. If this is the case, help them explore other options on your team or another team. I don’t know about you, but open posts seem to be rampant at nearly every organization today. Help them define their values, strengths, interests and schedule/workload needs. This will help identify the best fit for them.
What used to be taboo is now prevalent — people are getting overwhelmed and cannot work insane hours. No job should require that. If it does, then you are not staffed adequately. To help retain and engage people, understand their needs and prioritize accordingly to set them up for success. Being overwhelmed can be a temporary thing depending on a multitude of factors. If it is a permanent state, you may need to have a career conversation after trying to help them manage what is on their plate.
Now, more than ever, managers need to pay attention to not just performance and engagement but to mental health and stress levels. We need to be in tune with our team and the only way to do that is to create a safe place to share with you and to connect often. Don’t shortchange your team. Be available to help and don’t judge when someone says they need a break or need less to do.