When you are under great stress: 5 actions to feel some relief

For the last three years, there hasn't been one person I have talked to who hasn't been experiencing high stress. Stress from kids struggling in school, aging parents, health issues, unemployment, underemployment, financial woes, and other major changes.

There is a reason mental health has been at the center of attention within corporate walls as well as within households. Apps like Better Health, Calm, and Headspace have had banner years and have helped millions. Stress has always been in our lives and society, but something feels different today. It feels less like an everyday occurrence where we joke about having a glass of wine at the end of a tough day and more like a tsunami overwhelming people frequently.

If you suffer from anxiety or depression, stress can be a real challenge. Even positive stress (those butterflies before a big presentation) can manifest into physical issues, panic, dread, and/or insomnia. Not all of us are feeling great stress. Many have figured out how to compartmentalize and manage their reactions to various events and relationships and be resilient, productive, and happy regardless of the noise going on around them.

Those people have figured it out and I admire them. Compartmentalizing is easy to prescribe but difficult to do. It is easy to tell ourselves that we cannot control everything and to let go of those things outside of our control. I know many who have the Serenity prayer at hand near the desk, or inspirational posters and word art on their walls (me included). 

Of course, none of this hurts but only helps. But to embrace and indeed weave these tactics and mindsets into our daily lives can be tough.

So, for those of us experiencing great stress, what can we do? How do we stave off the tsunami, put down the glass of wine (unless you really want a glass of wine), and lean in a better direction? Here are 5 actions to consider starting.

1. Prioritize what is in front of you.

Stress can come from being overwhelmed. We have too many problems or too much work coming at us all at once. You might think everything is equally important so I just have to do it all right now. The fact is, the more spinning plates we have, the more likely one or even all will fall and break. We are human; we are not superhuman. I don't know about you, but I don't have a red cape hanging in my closet. I recently attended a webinar from UKG that discussed the "human energy crisis". This resonated with me so much. We are in an energy crisis ... for humans. We only have so much energy, attention, and focus. Prioritization and saying no needs to be one of the Uber skills we teach and practice. Doing 23 things mildly well or 3 things extremely well will not only help us focus and feel like we are making an impact, but will also result in positive business results. Define your priorities every week and stay focused.

2. Break down your to-do list.

After setting priorities, you still may have a ton of lofty, large goals on that list. Instead of looking at your whole list, pick one or two things to complete and cross off. If you have a huge goal, like losing 30 pounds or writing that detailed, world-building fantasy novel, break it down into manageable chunks and put dates next to small actions. Those are daunting goals that are certainly worthwhile and achievable but only if we don't jump on the entire elephant all at once. Remember action begets action; completion begets completion. If we see and feel progress, we are apt to continue that momentum.

3. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are all about knowing your limits and trying not to push yourself too close to those limits. Knowing when to start and stop something, knowing what you will let go or fight for, and knowing your values and what lies outside of those values all help you define those limits. Setting boundaries helps combat stress and balance your day. I encourage you to think about what boundaries you need to set. Do you need a start and stop time for your work day? Do you need a physical boundary between home and work even if it is in the same space? Do you need to block off the noon hour to walk the dog, do yoga, or have lunch with your friend? Do you need to set a boundary that you will not look at or answer emails past 7 pm? When nothing is separating you from the "thing" creating stress, it will take over. Take time to set these lines.

4. Reflect to feel gratitude.

When you are in the middle of stress, it can be very difficult to see anything but the stress ball staring at you. It is hard to focus on anything else, let alone anything positive. But, unfortunately (or, fortunately), that can be the best antidote. When I am struggling, I take a deep breath and list all the things, people, places, and experiences that I am grateful for. This will break my intense feelings and inevitably bring a smile to my face. PS. This can also work for insomnia!

5. Engage in mindless activities.

We all use our brains all the time. For some of us, overthinking and over-analysis leads to great stress. We can get caught in that circle of endless ruminating, scenario spinning, and what-ifing. Whether we're calming angry customers, delivering a presentation, designing a new product, or solving a computer issue, we are using our brains. We need to give our brains a break. I love true crime podcasts and documentaries. I find them strangely calming (please don't judge me). We all need activities that turn off the part of the brain that is constantly churning. Like a computer, we need to manually press the power button sometimes. So, volunteer, listen to music, walk your dog, play with your kids, breathe, stretch, or just sit in the sun. Do something to cut yourself a break. Your brain will thank you for it.

Stress can come in many shapes and sizes. Events can cause stress, people can cause stress, and internal conflict can cause stress. Whatever the cause, cut yourself and your brain a break. Plan focused time for thinking and working and also plan time for gratitude and the joy of mindlessness. If we give ourselves permission to take a break and reflect, we can minimize some of the stress we feel.