When you need to help your team under stress: 5 steps to follow
When I read the articles today about eliminating the middle manager, I scratch my head. I am the first one to jump on the efficient and effective org structure bandwagon. I think you can have too many layers. I have seen my fair share of 1:1 manager-employee structures when a new professional should just roll up under an existing manager instead of creating another manager for a team of one.
I have also seen 1:20 manager-employee structures that leave managers exhausted and employees feeling uncared for and disconnected. There is a solution somewhere in between.
My biggest concern about eliminating middle managers is not necessarily for the managers but for the employees. Employees need feedback, guidance, a sounding board, a link to the strategy, help with motivation, help with direction and approaches, coaching, someone to plan their career path with, and the list goes on and on.
I am not for hierarchy to build empires. I am for a smart structure that should enable strategy and help people be productive and feel engaged in their jobs.
Given the pressures of lay-offs, re-structures, trimming, optimizing, downsizing, transforming, and rightsizing (pick your word), managers have an even bigger load to carry. Whether you have to let someone go, work with someone going through a personal tragedy, or help employees who remain on what seems like a skeleton crew after departures, you have an overwhelming responsibility to be there for your team.
I have spoken to so many managers over my career who told me they are not counselors. I know teachers in my network who say they are not equipped to manage kids who are struggling with depression or anxiety. We are not trained to be mental health professionals, but we can exercise good judgment in how to help or how to link someone to the help they need.
Here are five steps to take when your team member appears to be under stress.
Notice it.
This seems obvious, but it may not be. Unfortunately, stress can wear many masks, which can be interpreted as anger, frustration, disengagement, being checked out, maybe making mistakes, or missing deadlines. If this is what you see, and it is not usual behavior for this person, have a conversation about your observations and ask questions (see #2). The worst thing we can do is pass judgment and minimize someone’s role, stop trusting them, or even terminate them. If you notice behavior that is not consistent and not productive, take note because "something" is indeed going on.
Ask thoughtful questions.
The very next step after noticing it is to engage in a conversation. This is where a lot of managers are uncomfortable and think they need to be certified counselors. Not so. Any of us can have these conversations comfortably. Start by stating what you have observed. Stick with the facts. "In our meeting yesterday, you seemed kind of checked out and distracted. I only comment on this because this isn't like you to not be engaged in the conversation." Then, show you care and ask if everything is okay and how you can help. There may not be anything you can do but simply offering can make the employee feel heard and cared for, which may be enough.
Listen and give space.
Listening and offering an open door is the best action to take when someone is under stress. They may not take you up on your offer. That’s okay. But they may openly communicate with you too. Perhaps something is going on at home. If there is, then offer more flexibility or time off. Maybe it is something in the office in which case you may be able to do something or know someone who can. Listening to the reason can help you uncover what is going on and let your team member share something stressful that might be preoccupying them.
Figure out how you can help.
Sometimes offering to help is enough. Lending an ear, offering flexibility, and taking a big project off of their plate for a time can all be things you can do as their manager. If you find there is something pretty heavy they are dealing with, be sure to know what resources you can offer, like an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), support group, or other company benefits that may help. EAPs are often way underutilized in organizations but can offer stellar services for grief counseling, marriage counseling, general depression, and anxiety disorders, legal advice, and financial advice.
Check in.
Oftentimes, we can have an initial conversation but then let it drop because our to-do list is a mile long. Demonstrating that you care means checking in from time to time. No need to be a hawk but asking follow-up questions and continuing to ask what you can do can only help the situation. You will know the right time to move on based on their behavior or outlook. They may even tell you they are good to go.
Unfortunately, there is no shortage of stress going around today. Some of us have been let go from our organizations while others remain with too much work to do and not enough resources. Some are balancing insane demands between work and home. Whatever your situation, you are probably experiencing some level of stress or seeing someone on your team struggling, depressed, or frustrated. Don’t let that go unnoticed or unaddressed. Have the conversation. Stick to what you have observed and ask what you can do to help.
We are all in this together. Managers have a little extra responsibility to work with their teams but anyone can check in with anyone else at any time. Remote or not, we all need to check in with each other. Reach out to someone today to see how they are doing.