When you want to be a more inclusive leader: Practice 3 mantras

Despite the decline in formal Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion roles within organizations, there is still a desire and quest to be inclusive. Last time we reviewed some common unconscious biases, how to notice them, and what to do about them.

Biases under the surface can derail our efforts to be inclusive. There are other traits that many organizations focus on in their leadership development and coaching efforts. Some include psychological safety, collaboration, making a visible commitment to inclusivity, and cultural intelligence. These are important but there are 3 basic mantras I feel we should keep top of mind.

I have had many spirited discussions over my career about whether certain traits and behaviors can be taught or whether they are inherent or natural. Usually, these discussions happen in the same few areas, which could be good fodder for a research article.

1.        “You’re just born a good salesperson or not.”

2.        “You can’t teach empathy. You’re either naturally empathetic or not.”

3.        “Your style is either to be inclusive and collaborative or you prefer to be a lone wolf.”

First, I truly believe people may be wired a certain way or have certain preferences. But I believe most things can be taught if the learner is willing to learn, open to new ideas, challenge their constructs, and not afraid to try new ways and new behaviors. Or, if they are scared, they do it anyway.

Mantra #1: Empathy

One of the biggest traits of being an inclusive leader is empathy – the ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. People often confuse sympathy and empathy; they are not the same thing. Empathy does not require one to be sympathetic but open-minded enough to understand another point of view. And guess what? Empathy does not require that we agree with the point of view either. We need to be open (and, therefore inclusive) to a different perspective and see why someone may think/feel/act the way they are.

When I was a young professional, I took Gallup’s StrengthsFinder assessment. The signature theme of Empathy was ranked #34 on my list of strengths and there are 34 of them...total. Wow.

I was committed to stretching and developing my empathetic behavior, and I believe I have done so successfully. Some of this may be age and maturity (admittedly) but I believe we can teach, practice, and grow enough to adopt different behaviors regardless of our age.

Mantra #2: Humility

Authentically humble people do several things differently.

1.        They share ownership and give credit where credit is due.

2.        They acknowledge there could be another way to do something.

3.        They admit when they make a mistake or when they are “wrong”.

Unfortunately, some company cultures accidentally disincentivize these behaviors. They would never say they don’t think humility is important but they value and reward actions that are counter to humble behavior:

1.        They reward only individual effort – the hero syndrome. This makes it harder to share ownership and credit if we only reward individuals and not teams or good people managers or leaders.

2.        For some leaders, it is their way or the highway. They know best because they are the leader. This is not a sign of strength but a lack of collaboration and inclusion. Yet, we sometimes promote these people and never give them appropriate feedback on this behavior.

3.        We tend to frown upon mistakes. We want to do well, of course, but we are human and we all make mistakes. It happens. The key is to admit there was a mistake, understand why/how it happened, and learn the lessons to move on.  

Mantra #3: Curiosity

The final mantra I don’t think about too often is the mindset of curiosity. If we remain curious, we remain open. When we are open, we are more inclusive. Asking questions to seek to understand (and, therefore, be empathetic) is a way to stay curious. We can also be curious through exploration, listening without judgment, staying objective, and checking those unconscious biases.

There are many ways we can be more inclusive. These three mantras tie together and are critical to demonstrating inclusive behaviors. Let’s commit to empathy, humility, and curiosity in the workplace (and in society for that matter!).